Day 49 in the Big Brother House...

Eviction time in the House

Eight housemates remain after the surprise double eviction of Dodgy Kidney and Non Functioning Pancreas from Northampton. Their eviction came as a shock to those pundits who saw these two remaining until later in the show. On Friday they were in, and by Saturday, after the public vote, they were out.

Big Brother held a surprise of his own when he introduced new housemates as replacements, Copious Drugs from Kettering, and from Exeter, Extreme Crabbiness. 

Andrew struggled to adapt to the new arrangements and was soon to be spied in the Diary Room demanding an audience with Big Brother. He was quick to express his horror at the new housemates side effects:

"All this falling over and general tomfoolery  is so unbecoming in the BB house", he was heard to complain. "It really is most annoying and will be quite unpopular with the discerning audience that this televisual feast attracts"

Andrew retired to the lounge where he spied Tom Foolery giggling on the sofa with Vanessa Feltz, who was herself taking comfort in a large Cadburys Fruit & Nut.

"Housemates will assemble out in the garden in 5 minutes time" announced Big Brother.
Soon the team are gathered outside to find out what this week's task is...

"Housemates are to write a series of Big Brother inspired parodies to be revealed tomorrow, after which the public will vote. The housemate with the lowest number of votes will leave the Big Brother house"

Oh no, pondered Andrew, for humour was not his strong point.

After a week of time consuming and pointless ratings-grabbing clips of edited endings, non existent cliff hangers, ridiculous humiliating tasks and "tantalising tidbits", the end of the week drew close and another eviction loomed...

Who would be going this week? Whose usefulness had expired?

The last remaining inmates gathered on the sofa and waited...
Andrew looked around him......Tacrolimus, Mycophenylate, Aspirin, Ranitidine, Prednisone, and Fludrocortisone; all his regular allies were gathered here, looking nervous.

And the housemate to leave this week.....is.........

Fludrocortisone.

The drug looked stunned, but realised that his mistake had been to increase Andrew's blood pressure, which ultimately would be damaging and increase the risk of cardiac events. Therefore the renal producers had decided to evict Fludrocortisone as a precuation.

Stopping only to say adieu to the other inmates, Fludrocotisone left and waving goodbye to the assembled audience, climbed on his bike and rode off into the sunset.

Andrew looked on with disdain, for he did not approved of pedalling drugs.