Yo ho ho and a bottle of Pugwash.

Kipper me capstans and blistering barnacles, heave ho the anchor and lets cast off for another  voyage into Andrew's World....

The jovial Captain Pugwash, a gloriuosly inept sea captain of an indeterminate age and era sailed the seven seas in zany maritime adventures in the BBC TV series of the seventies. Awash with genteel niceties, the crew of his Black Pig were always saving the day for the Cap'n against his arch nemesis the pirate Cut Throat Jake.

Urban myths abounded concerning some erroneously named crew: Master Bates, Roger the Cabin Boy and Seaman Staines. These myths which after much titillation and gossip, were dispelled when the producers went to court and proved that they were indeed fabrications of a journalistic mind. A pity really, ho ho.

The main tipple of the nautical community is of course rum, and it was an encounter with the fabled beverage earlier this week that resulted in a trip back into the past....

We had been invited to Uncle Rod's beachfront mansion for a spot of dinner and a beverage or two.
Of course with his being a salty sea dog and yacht owner we felt it appropriate to toast the meal with a few swigs of Waiheke Island Wild Days rum.

Before you could say "dolloping dolphins" the swigs became the whole bottle, and we became a tad inebriated, sloshing around like keel bilge water.

Driving home was out of the question, and so we set off like lolloping landlubbers for the walk back to our house.

Dithering Dogfish! Rain began to spatter down, so we held aloft umbrellas, looking like a two masted schooner forging through the storm.

As the precipitation precipitated harder our jeans became wet and heavy, and legs felt like jetsam being carried along the wet pathway.

Staggering Stalactites! My legs suddenly locked and fire breathed through the muscles, tendons, sinews and joints. Every step was doubly difficult, as the pain seared through and the jeans did their best to cause me to founder.

It was the return of my previous nemesis, the diabetic neuropathy. Due to nerve damage caused by long term diabetes, walking at speed for a distance can be quite painful. This is one side effect of my previous condition that was going to be with me for ever.

Whilst the eyes can repair some of the damage, and further damage to the nerves is halted by the transplanted pancreas, the existing damage stays.

Regular exercise can help, but the pain is still there. Ho hum.

After much fire I staggered home, and promptly fell asleep, dreaming nautically of the Black Pig, Pugwash and sailing off to Waiheke to capture some more rum for the next episode.