The Recipe of Change...

During our recent house move and unpacking process, I stumbled upon a cache of old photos dating from the late sixties right up to the digital age, and was suddenly engulfed by a wave of nostalgia.
Like a tsunami of warm memories mixed with cringing embarrassment and a spot of forgetfulness I collated them into a timeline of my life.
Colours whirled as  faces, friends, holidays, schools, jobs, cities and countries all flowed past, but there as one constant throughout: me!

From a small babyfaced baby (what else?) to a gangly teenage, from a thin youth and young thirtysomething, to finish displaying all the crinkles and wrinkles of the forties...
Sniff.
Where had that youthful and (if I may be so bold) rather attractive young man disappeared to, and why has he changed so much in just a few years?
The answer of course was old Father Time and his friends the Ravages. They seem to be following a tried and tested recipe that goes something like this....

Take 1 fresh faced boy, add a large dose of diabetes and leave to marinate for forty years.
Make sure diabetic is well fed and check regularly. Baste with exact measured quantities of insulin, sugar and liberally sprinkle with saccharin and diet food. Monitor closely. After approximately 30 years introduce renal failure, slowly at first but increase to a maximum of 92%.

Remove from normality and place subject on dialysis three times a day using full sugar solution. Allow to absorb sugar over two years and once fully inflated remove from dialysis. Cut open and add one working kidney. Garnish with a pancreas, leave to rest, and liberally sprinkle with pills on a daily basis, taking care to check every three months.

You should now be able to notice a total change in his state; the crust will have cracked, become saggy, and inflated and grown in size. Serve whilst fresh!

Of course any cook wanting to hide those little blemishes resorts to a spot of magic in the kitchen.