The Mime of your Life!

Greetings fellow bloghoppers. In a possible world first for a NZ blog I shall be expressing this web update using the universal medium of mime. I am already aware of a couple of blogs out in the webisphere that devote themselves to the subject, but I strongly believe that there are currently insufficient blogs that are themselves styled in mime, a terrible injustice that in will attempt to rectify today. For those unversed in phonemic visualizations, a translation will accompany the mime....

Hello and welcome my petits chaufleurs!

Keeping up so far?

Blood Pressure was good today, nice and high for a change

Soon I will be....

Aarrgghh....This doesnt feel right...Bleugggghhh...!

 You don't deserve the power of Madonna… simply put, you have all the sexuality of all those pandas down at the zoo, who refuse to mate

 Strike a pose, there’s nothing to it,....Vogue.

(That's enough... stop the miming!)

Now I see why this has not spread like wildfire through the blogging community....

Elsewhere in my world we have been blessed by a return to work, or at least my colleagues have been blessed by my return, after weeks of what can only be termed a bit of a dodgy tummy (without going into details) The source of the “bug” was traced back to my local pharmacy who dispensed my last dose of what I call Mycophenylate (anti rejection drug) instead of the prescribed 2 x 250mg tablets, but in one 500mg capsule. 

So of course being a mere mortal and an institutionally obedient disciple of the medical fraternity, I followed my renal quacks instructions absolutely to take 2 x thrice per day. 

Now this MycoFeminate has a side effect most dire, and I dont think you need to be Einsten to have some prescient knowledge of the outcome.

I wont refer to the precise details, but my bowel being the peculiary explosive entity that it is (it has been observed sneaking onto the set of Eastenders and erupting like Peggy Mitchell) took to the double dosage of MycoFelicityKendallate like a bad-tempered loose bowelled duck to water.

After many immodiums later, I accosted the poor pharmacist for her erroneous dispensation. We both stood our ground facing off at each other, until she pointed out, somewhat smugly I might add, that I had actually read the printed dose incorrectly. Of course, I have now dispensed (!) with that chemist, and taken my most lucrative trade in Pharmac subsidies elsewhere. The resulting mistake has been rectified and now like a graceful swan my life carries on its contented and exploratory new path. "Follow the yellow brick road...."

                                                     (minus the ruby slippers and Toto)

The return to work has been most excellent and I have been literally touched by the number of colleagues bursting into spontaneous hugs. Of course these public displays of affection, whilst gratefully received put a Brit in an eternal dichotomy. How does one react? Do we just hug, or is a kiss appropriate, or do we just lightly embrace? How hard should the embrace be? A manly reach of Octopus proportions, or a semi soft quick touch around the external extremities?

These are frankly ideas most foreign to the Brit, as we spend most of our time being wrapped up in duffel coats to keep out the cold, and refuse to even address a chap by first name terms unless our parents have been introduced, especially if you went an independent school. In which case names such as Pongo, Sledgy, Warts-Johnson, and Tinkerbell are absolutely mandatory until marriage, unless you then join the Armed Forces in which case they append to “ Pongo.....Sir!”.

Of course one has to acclimatise to the local customs, and therefore the usual British disdain of bodily contact has been replaced by yet another new feeling, that of humility and awe;  That my friends care so much about my welfare and wellbeing and were able to express it so unequivocably. As a result, as I drove home tonight, I had plenty of time to reflect on this hopefully genuine and spontaneous warmth and was ultimately left, like a mime artist, quite speechless. Thanks guys!