Wherever I lay my hat (That’s my home)…..

Was a huge hit for the equally huge Mr Paul Young in the prehistoric era that was 1983, when records were made of vinyl and had a B side, not the latest mumbo jumbo extended remix available to download from Buytunes.

Now I admit that I am neither a skilled real estate or property lawyer, but even I am sure that the positioning of a hat does not convey property rights on the wearer? 

Merely draping a bonnet on a bungalow should not infer ownership, or the flinging of a fedora over a flat does not necessarily give you the right to call Pickfords….. 

Imagine the confusion at an auction with multiple buyers throwing their titfers around the auction room, as the bidding heats up and people attempt to secure their property bargain, whilst those fashionably attired in the latest creation by Philip Treacy could be landed with a rather more expensive purchase than the exquisite piece of frippery atop their lofty crowns.

Similarly an open home would look like Royal Ascot on Ladies Day, with hordes of excited millinery milling around, ready to make a offer at the drop of a hat.

You can just see the scene at Grace Brothers……

Oh yes Madam, it does suit Madam perfectly. And ideal for a spot of house buying.......

But enough frivolity and back to proper hats. 

There exist in life just a few hats that have truly captured the imagination of the public and passed into sartorial history;

Napoleon's chapeau for example:

then there was Monty’s beret:

who can forget Sherlock's Deerstalker:

and of course the gigantic pretzel worn by Princess Beatrice :

Gratifying to see her wearing an appropriately Germanic snack, given the Royal Family's heritage.

I understand from the dedicated followers of fashion that her precariously perched Treacy "fascinator" was a fashion faux pas, and fascinating for all the wrong reasons.

Now to add to these illustrious guardians of millinery couture can be added the outrageous sunhat, modelled here by a shy yours truly......

This exquisitely constructed headpiece, crafted from 100% starched cotton, tailored for maximum embarrassment factor, and lovingly hand made in the People's Republic, has but one redeeming feature. It has a UVPF of 50+, which allows it to perform its' sun related duties to the max, affording its' wearer excellent UV protection.

This is important to transplant patients because we are four times more likely to develop skin melanoma than supposed “normal” people. Transplant patients require the long-term use of immunosuppressant medications to prevent organ rejection but they impair the capacity of the immune system to repair or destroy UV damaged cells, allowing damaged cells to develop into melanoma and ultimately cancers. It is also possible that the immunosuppressant medications directly cause cancer generating changes in cells. Additionally, human papilloma virus (HPV), which causes warts may also be involved in the development of  skin cancers in transplant recipients.

All transplant patients have a greater chance of developing skin cancer compared to the general population. This risk increases with each subsequent year following your transplant. At 5 years after transplant, some studies suggest that approximately 5% of transplant patients will develop skin cancer. At 10-years, approximately 10% of transplant patients develop skin cancer. The risk for skin cancer may vary with the type of transplant. Cardiac and kidney transplant patients seem to develop skin cancer more frequently, of course!

Hooray, I'm going to develop skin abnormalities and as the years progress I shall look like a warty old toad!

But on a serious note, this is a major change in my lifestyle, with doctors recommending that I use SPF sunscreen daily, cover up in long sleeves in the sun, wear sunglasses and a sunhat, and avoid exposure to the sun especially during midday when the UV rays are at their highest.

This is of course general good practice and not just for transplanted people, and the NZ govt does run a good campaign to Slip, Slop, Slap and Wrap with the Sunsmart programme : www.sunsmart.org.nz  

Using a giant prawn to cover up with lettuce and dressing to avoid the UV rays seems a bit silly to me. I prefer to use Nivea SPF 30, not Paul Newmans Thousand Island.

But still good advice all the same, as NZ has the highest incidence of melanoma in the world. We are not just world winners in rugby, it would appear that our devotion to the outdoors makes us world winners when it comes to skin cancer, of course having a hole in the ozone layer above the country doesn't help. 

 

Beach attire and good practice do exist in the good old UK, where it is normal for holiday makers unused to the sun to stay in their hotel room for the first 2 weeks of the holiday wearing a pullover and a hat, before moving on to outside attired in traditional British beach wear:

Or if abroad we adopt traditional British colonial costume, and look frightfully reserved as we sip Pimms and complain about the heat and the food. Observe the typical Brit abroad in traditional tropical gear; shorts, socks, camera and a sensibly wide brimmed hat......

So that is why I have Indiana Jones' less successful brother's hat. I don't object to the hat, but draw a line at wearing lettuce and a salad dressing.

 

Now of course if I were to move country I would be exposed to less harmful UV rays.......Mmmmm...

That's it, get me Pickfords on the phone, and fetch me my house hunting hat!