For the benefit of all my non Norwegian bloghoppers, the rest of this entry will not be an 'orse.
So where was I? Oh yes, let us then us take a trip to the magnificent fjords of Norway:
Mystical land of pop group Aha! and the nul points of Eurovision fame.
This great sculptured marvel where the sun always shines on TV, a land of trolls and herring that gave us Aha! A group who garnered a UK number 8 hit in 1986. Norway also rose to pop ignominy with its train of zero scores in the pan Europe song contest....
Words go up words come down
Forwards backwards twisted round
However the train of thought I speak tell of happened recently at the phlebotomy clinic where my bloods are regularly harvested.......
As usual I arrived at the appointed hour for the fortnightly ritual of blood letting, less high tech, more Aztec. I availed myself of the ample hospital seating, covered in the finest plastic and stuffed so full of stained foam, that bits of filling were luxuriously cascading to the floor from the generous gash.
I studied the notices placed around me, from the mildly humourous "jokes" about phlebotomists, clearly placed during a moment of guildic pride (oh how funny, Dracula! a fellow bloodtaker! ha ha ha bonk....excuse that was the sound of me laughing my head off....), to the patients charter and service expectation information.
As I was reading my rights in 3 languages, English, Maori and Corporate PR speak, I was interrupted by the patter of soft soled feet and a nervous voice broke the silence.
Was I next? questioned the young intruder into my concentration. I noted with some concern that she had dispensed with the traditional medical outfit, and had opted for casual jeans and a blouse. Perhaps it was Mufti day, or she had suffered a break in to her locker.
I scanned my surroundings and finding not another soul, suggested that yes, I possibly was next.
I rose and followed her to the console table, where tubes, cards, pens all littered the surface.
Waiting for me was another nurse attired in a suitably reassuring medical attire. Clearly it was not Mufti today, or perhaps this professional frowned on such frippery.
After the traditional exchange of pleasantries, well hers were, mine was merely an acknowledgement of this tradition. If indeed she really wanted to know how I was today, she would have asked after my appointment, or checked my consultants notes as to my medical state?
It is said that it takes 43 muscles to frown, and only 17 to smile. To this I have further reduced to just 5. My visage remains impassive, except for a quick curling of the mouth and jaw, in the shape of a smile, maintaining this for 1.5 seconds and then regaining impassivity, just 5 muscles and pnot a hint of warmth. A trait that has served me well since my childhood.
She informed that her name was Maria, presumably she felt that I was opthalmically challenged, and therefore unable to read the large fonted name badge she wore. Even given the drooping angle she preferred to wear it, I could clearly make out that she was indeed Maria, and furthermore she was a phlebotomist. Her badge affirmed to this fact. Sensing a potential whimsy I enquired whether she was a nurse, to which she looked taken aback and pointed to her badge, just to confirm that she was indeed what the badge said she was.
Rather pointedly I looked at Miss Mufti, awaiting an explanation from Maria, who I could sense was in charge.
Mindra was her name and she was in training, would I mind her observing the procedure?
Mmmmm, training someone usually adds time to the blood taking, making it either drawn out Oslo.
Flattered that I was the chosen subject I agreed that she could Take On Me.
Ushered to yet another well appointed clinical chair, I sat and waited.....
And waited....
For to my chagrin, Mindra was having the blood test procedure explained to her by the obliging Maria. First she had to collect 5 specimen tubes and collate them in a kidney dish (oh the epithetic irony of it all).
Off she scurried and began sourcing the tubes, Hunting High and Low.
Maria meanwhile had become fascinated all of a sudden by a mark on her hand, which transfixed her gaze, making her scratch it like an old krone.
Mindra was still seeking the last tube,
which I could see plainly visible on the table top. Oh great, I mused, for if she is blind to a rather obvious and clearly labelled tube immediately in front of her how is she going to locate my vein?
At this juncture I could restrain myself no longer, and making a frosty and arctic glare I "helped" her, with the aid of an audible tut and an extended finger.
Our relationship turned decidedly cool after that.
Maria meanwhile asked me which arm I would prefer, to which I indicated my right. Briefly glancing at the proffered arm, she rather abruptly htook the other limb and examined the elbow area, searching in vain for veins. That is why I offered the original arm, which as I recall was at your request.
Clearly she felt a bit Touchy!, for Maria regarded me with a chilly stare; whilst the trainee similarly adopted a united front, like the Norwegian resistance. Camaraderie amongst vampires is clearly a reality, despite the fighting and disagreement displayed in the Twilight films.
Maria's commentary continued apace, as she tried to locate my median cubital vein, which to my eyes was as clear as the Manhattan Skyline, but which eluded both the professionals surrounding me. Aha! she exclaimed as she glimpsed the vein. But it was a Cry Wolf as my vein shifted, like the Norwegian government, to the left.
I've Been Losing You, I mouthed to my subcutaneous extension of my mischievous inner self, much like a naughty water sprite in the forests as painted by Kittelsen.
Eventually the needle met with no resistance and soon the Blood That Moves The Body was free to gush and flow. Repeated five times her job was soon, like Peer Gynt, about to draw to a dramatic conclusion.
Maria scowled for good luck, exiting with her prized specimens. Mindra and I were left to gaze at each other.
First time Mindra, how was it for you? I quipped as I exited the clinic.
She smiled as I withdrew and I could tell that our previous frosty engagement was beginning to Thor.
Click on this link to watch the 1986 video from A-ha Video for Train of Thought
Mystical land of pop group Aha! and the nul points of Eurovision fame.
This great sculptured marvel where the sun always shines on TV, a land of trolls and herring that gave us Aha! A group who garnered a UK number 8 hit in 1986. Norway also rose to pop ignominy with its train of zero scores in the pan Europe song contest....
Words go up words come down
Forwards backwards twisted round
However the train of thought I speak tell of happened recently at the phlebotomy clinic where my bloods are regularly harvested.......
As usual I arrived at the appointed hour for the fortnightly ritual of blood letting, less high tech, more Aztec. I availed myself of the ample hospital seating, covered in the finest plastic and stuffed so full of stained foam, that bits of filling were luxuriously cascading to the floor from the generous gash.
I studied the notices placed around me, from the mildly humourous "jokes" about phlebotomists, clearly placed during a moment of guildic pride (oh how funny, Dracula! a fellow bloodtaker! ha ha ha bonk....excuse that was the sound of me laughing my head off....), to the patients charter and service expectation information.
As I was reading my rights in 3 languages, English, Maori and Corporate PR speak, I was interrupted by the patter of soft soled feet and a nervous voice broke the silence.
Was I next? questioned the young intruder into my concentration. I noted with some concern that she had dispensed with the traditional medical outfit, and had opted for casual jeans and a blouse. Perhaps it was Mufti day, or she had suffered a break in to her locker.
I scanned my surroundings and finding not another soul, suggested that yes, I possibly was next.
I rose and followed her to the console table, where tubes, cards, pens all littered the surface.
Waiting for me was another nurse attired in a suitably reassuring medical attire. Clearly it was not Mufti today, or perhaps this professional frowned on such frippery.
After the traditional exchange of pleasantries, well hers were, mine was merely an acknowledgement of this tradition. If indeed she really wanted to know how I was today, she would have asked after my appointment, or checked my consultants notes as to my medical state?
It is said that it takes 43 muscles to frown, and only 17 to smile. To this I have further reduced to just 5. My visage remains impassive, except for a quick curling of the mouth and jaw, in the shape of a smile, maintaining this for 1.5 seconds and then regaining impassivity, just 5 muscles and pnot a hint of warmth. A trait that has served me well since my childhood.
She informed that her name was Maria, presumably she felt that I was opthalmically challenged, and therefore unable to read the large fonted name badge she wore. Even given the drooping angle she preferred to wear it, I could clearly make out that she was indeed Maria, and furthermore she was a phlebotomist. Her badge affirmed to this fact. Sensing a potential whimsy I enquired whether she was a nurse, to which she looked taken aback and pointed to her badge, just to confirm that she was indeed what the badge said she was.
Rather pointedly I looked at Miss Mufti, awaiting an explanation from Maria, who I could sense was in charge.
Mindra was her name and she was in training, would I mind her observing the procedure?
Mmmmm, training someone usually adds time to the blood taking, making it either drawn out Oslo.
Flattered that I was the chosen subject I agreed that she could Take On Me.
Ushered to yet another well appointed clinical chair, I sat and waited.....
And waited....
For to my chagrin, Mindra was having the blood test procedure explained to her by the obliging Maria. First she had to collect 5 specimen tubes and collate them in a kidney dish (oh the epithetic irony of it all).
Off she scurried and began sourcing the tubes, Hunting High and Low.
Maria meanwhile had become fascinated all of a sudden by a mark on her hand, which transfixed her gaze, making her scratch it like an old krone.
Mindra was still seeking the last tube,
which I could see plainly visible on the table top. Oh great, I mused, for if she is blind to a rather obvious and clearly labelled tube immediately in front of her how is she going to locate my vein?
At this juncture I could restrain myself no longer, and making a frosty and arctic glare I "helped" her, with the aid of an audible tut and an extended finger.
Our relationship turned decidedly cool after that.
Maria meanwhile asked me which arm I would prefer, to which I indicated my right. Briefly glancing at the proffered arm, she rather abruptly htook the other limb and examined the elbow area, searching in vain for veins. That is why I offered the original arm, which as I recall was at your request.
Clearly she felt a bit Touchy!, for Maria regarded me with a chilly stare; whilst the trainee similarly adopted a united front, like the Norwegian resistance. Camaraderie amongst vampires is clearly a reality, despite the fighting and disagreement displayed in the Twilight films.
Maria's commentary continued apace, as she tried to locate my median cubital vein, which to my eyes was as clear as the Manhattan Skyline, but which eluded both the professionals surrounding me. Aha! she exclaimed as she glimpsed the vein. But it was a Cry Wolf as my vein shifted, like the Norwegian government, to the left.
I've Been Losing You, I mouthed to my subcutaneous extension of my mischievous inner self, much like a naughty water sprite in the forests as painted by Kittelsen.
Eventually the needle met with no resistance and soon the Blood That Moves The Body was free to gush and flow. Repeated five times her job was soon, like Peer Gynt, about to draw to a dramatic conclusion.
Maria scowled for good luck, exiting with her prized specimens. Mindra and I were left to gaze at each other.
First time Mindra, how was it for you? I quipped as I exited the clinic.
She smiled as I withdrew and I could tell that our previous frosty engagement was beginning to Thor.
Click on this link to watch the 1986 video from A-ha Video for Train of Thought
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