Nine to Five

Not only Dolly Parton, but Sheena Easton too waxed lyrical on the mechanics and attributes of the exciting world of the office workplace. The days of staring at nine have long gone, just like Dolly's real hair, but work for most of us consumes most of our day. With all the recent travails however, my desk seems but a distant memory.

Therefore it was with a sense of excitement that I returned to work last Wednesday (hey Monday and Tuesday were just toooooo soon...plus I hadn't finished watching National Geographic, I mean recuperating). As I pushed open the doors to our office, and swept away the legions of adoring fans, I struggled through the mountains of welcome back gifts, and then took my seat. My desk appeared much as I had left it, perhaps with a trifle more papers needing attention, but basically the same mess that I had left it in. Coffee was de rigeur, so I made my way to the staffroom. There I caught up with old faces (some of them are really old) and dear friends, all mingling around the caffeine canisters.

Later I returned, offering a quick halloo to whomever I passed, and retook my seat amongst the paper trail. Soon I was underway, with letters to be read, and heaps of papers waiting to be signed, moving work from one side of my desk to the other and back again.
Indeed my world seems to revolve around the very important movement of pieces of paper. 

I suddenly felt the urge to undertake some stapling  to appear busy. As I reached for my personally allocated stapler, panic gripped my very core. I could not locate my paper joining implement. Searching high and low, checking all the drawers, but all to no avail. My stapler had vanished without trace, just like the ill fated MH3370.  To console myself I reached for my calculator to make some important looking number punching, but that too had disappeared.

Oh no! How was I to amuse myself with no silly words all day, like ESSO OIL, GOGGLES and BOOBIES?

Clearly while I was having my appendix removed, someone else had also removed my stationery.

I was not a happy chappy at all, in fact I was more like an office Grumpy Cat!

And it was only lunchtime, another four hours to go.....