That Syncing Feeling..

According to Ford, the voice activated audio system installed in my car allows you to" Stay in touch every second you’re driving, with state-of-the-art Ford SYNC voice control and connectivity technology "

Apparently it lets you make and take mobile phone calls, hands-free, using the simplest voice commands. It can even read out text messages you’ve been sent. :)
This sounds awesome, and would indeed be a sight to behold.

Except that instead of an efficient friendly and helpful voice behind SYNC, mine has been installed with the rude tone of a slightly geriatric Ukrainian pensioner, whose hearing trumpet has been left back in her war ravaged hovel.

I have given her the name Olga. as it sounds nothing like SYNC.

"Call Glenn"
I pause while Olga checks her contact list.....
"Calling Tim"

Which is bizarre as I don't have a Tim in my contacts.

"Call Vets"
"Deleting contact: Vet"
Olga will need a vet when I've finished with her.....

"Play artist New Order"
Olga consults her enormous music reference manual....
"Playing Artist The Artist, formerly known as The Artist Prince"

I attempt to intervene with a touch of the steering wheel Sync button, to override her. Of course this just irritates my Soviet stowaway.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand that word" she petulantly retorts. 

Then promptly goes silent as she knits a sock for the cold Ukrainian winter.

I thought it might be my accent, eccentrically English though it may be, but still fairly well spoken and very BBC. 

Why, even Apple's Siri understands my commands.

Thankfully there is one "advanced" feature that, so far, (fingers and wires crossed) I have yet to have need of. 

It is delightfully called the Ford Emergency Assist.

In the event of an accident and the car is compromised, Sync will call the emergency services automatically using the linked bluetooth phone, and give GPS details of the location and request immediate help.

Though heaven knows how long it takes for a plumber from Kiev to reach New Zealand...