Goodness gracious me! I seem to be flying a bit solo here today, perhaps some kind reader would offer me a han? Obviously I should most probably jump into hyperspace on my craft the Aluminum Falcon to make the short trip to Endor to encounter these strange furry bipeds, and allow them to worship me as a living god? Of course I am unquestionably worth it, to paraphrase L'Oreal Paris.
As for the pants....well we shall see, for I sense a disturbance in this blog that needs explanation.
Since we seem to be momentarily trapped on the Death Star, and with pants in the air (so to speak) I cast my cerebrum to matters most trivial. It is a little known cinematic snippet that during the original filming of the 1977 epic, George Lucas inadvertently wrote the first script containing many instances of the word pants.
This error was discovered during post production and parts had to be re shot in Elstree Studios.
Long thought to be lost forever, I am now fortunate to be able to bring you those original pant lines pulled from that 1977 script....
1 I find your lack of pants disturbing.
2 Alderan is peaceful, we have no pants!
3 Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.
4 These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.
5 These aren’t the pants you’re looking for.
6 A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.
7 She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander
8 I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
9 You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
10 I’ve just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants forever.
11 Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.
12 Attention. This is Lando Calrissian. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.
And so we reach the end, and in true movie style we reveal the answer that has eluded the audience throughout this piece...
What in the galaxy does the title mean?
Ewoks and Minstrels refers to it not. An anagram it is.
Wants to know what it means, does it?
Three Tiny Ewoks & Minstrel's Cyan Pants, rearranged it can be to
THIRTY ONE WEEKS SINCE MY TRANSPLANT!
Worth celebrating surely?
It is also incidentally 31 years since the release of The Empire Strikes Back, voted best film of all time in a recent British poll......
And finally:
Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi are in a Chinese restaurant and Luke's having trouble with his chopsticks. Finally, Obi-Wan says, "Use the forks, Luke."
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