Starring Molly Ringwald (whatever happened to her?) and the other son of Kirk Douglas, the forgettable one: Emilio Estevez, brother of the more memorable loony Charlie Sheen. This film was disappointing to me as it contained no sign of of either an EggMcMuffin or Croissant, and I failed to see any kind of club, be it golf or night...
Marching majestically on we depart the Chicago high school, all the way to Waiheke Island, scene of my recent vacation adjunct to Auckland, chosen for the comparative ease of access to the dialysis centre. Of course now the transplant had rendered this useful holiday feature redundant.
So days prior to my departure I dutifully packed all the essentials needed, clothes, toiletries, reading matter, and of course my rejection tablets and other pill essentials. Contained into a convenient (well according to my pharmacist!) multipack spanning 2 weeks, each individually labelled and separated into appropriate dosages. This was to ensure that I would not forget to take them, and aid my fading memory of the last dose taken. So that I don't forget about them.......
And so off we pootled, all the way into town to the Viaduct Basin, on board the ferry to Waiheke and then off at the island's Kennedy point, and a drive to our rented holiday home at Blackpool, near Oneroa. Sublime bliss awaited me as the holiday promised to unwind and soothe me.........
Until 5 of the clock, when I retrieved my pill dispenser to discover that I had inadvertently neglected to add my late afternoon dose of the anti rejection drug Mycophenylate. Not just for that day, but for the entire rest of the holiday, oh dear "Whoops". Not just a little whoops, but a huge organ rejecting, loss of kindly donated kidney kind of whoops. Whoops is when you drop a saucer, or accidentally nudge someone in the post office. This was no mere whoops, this had all the makings of a disaster, a huge disaster constructed in enormous capital letters and coated in bright luminous paint, plainly visible on Google Earth.
I double checked my pill pack, and then rifled through the rest of my luggage, and luckily found 2 extra tablets which would take me through to the end of that day, but no further....
Ho hum, what to do, what to do?
I pondered the options....
To miss any dose would be foolish, worse than Ann Boleyn's decision to marry Henry VIII when she accepted his hand in marriage: "Queen eh? What could go wrong?" She mused.
I didn't entertain that decision for more than a micro nanosecond, before it was expunged.
Oh well, there is nothing for it, I would have to return home and collect the missing tablets. What a long arduous transit that would be. Since the others were using my car on the morrow, I would have to catch a bus to the ferry, having queued with the locals:
Then a time consuming voyage into the CBD on the ferry:
After disembarkation than a short walk to the bus terminal to catch a bus all the way back home to extricate the forgotten medicine........and then undertake the whole lengthy operation in reverse.
Oh poo.
So I pondered this for a while over a couple of relaxing Pina Colada's, and went to bed thoroughly disgruntled.
Morning arrived with the typical greyness that we had come to expect on Waiheke. After the nights mental exertions I arose tired and bleary, so understandably I was feeling a little horse...
Suddenly my mind filled with the beginning of a cunning plan, one that involved the professional services of a host of medical staff, the dispensary skills of a local business, the technical input of Apple, the help of one of our largest corporations and a large Japanese manufacturing firm! In essence it was almost Baldrick-like in its magnificence..
It would be indeed a daring stunt if all parties came to the table, but this enormous chain could fracture at any moment, leaving me stranded and in peril!
It was therefore with a sense of trepidation that I picked up my Apple Iphone, and began to write a text (Thanks to great network coverage from Telecom) to my renal nurse at the hospital, who would then get a prescription written by the on call renal physician (the host of medical staff). After the prescription was written it would be faxed (Again thanks to communications giant Telecom and the Japanese fax machine manufacturer) to the nearest pharmacy in Waiheke, which was Unichem in Oneroa (the local business).
Unbeknownst to me the chain began in inexorable crawl towards its climax, with each part of the sequence seamlessly interacting with its successor, not unlike a string of dominoes laid out by some gangly schoolchildren in a world record attempt acting out their pre-ordained destiny with a flourish.
My iPhone trilled to the slightly embarrassing sound of Channel 4's Treasure Hunt, announcing an incoming call. Half expecting to hear Anneka Rice or Wincey Willis (go on Google them), I was instead delighted to hear from Janene, my clinical nurse specialist. Much like an Archangel, she brought glad tidings, and was pleased to inform me that the logistics operation had been a success, the much needed medicine was ready for me at the Oneroa chemist. To say I was relieved was a tad understated, as the waves of relief coursed through my body.
Consequently I collected my items and packed them away in their respective compartments, as I should have done in the first place, and enjoyed the rest of the holiday with the correct doses taken at the appropriate hour.
So the moral of this tale, in the words of Simple Minds....
If you want to stay Alive and Kicking, then listen properly to your nurse, to All the Things She Said, remember to follow instructions, for they Promised you a Miracle.........Oh I've forgotten the rest......
I said la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la
La, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la
La, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la .....
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