Bob?

Edmund Blackadder notoriously fell for his new "manservant" Bob, in a memorable episode of the Tudor themed BBC series. This strange devotion to his new "boy" resulted in visits to leech wielding doctors, seeking advice from the Wisewoman of Putney laced with regal comment and gossip in court.

The attachment was made even more significant when "Bob" was revealed to be a "she" called Kate. Their attachment did not last for long, however, and "Bob"/Kate left him for another.

I too have recently found my own "Bob". We have been attached to each other for over a day and during that time we have been literally inseparable, clinging to each other for support and going everywhere together. In fact, we even spent the night together after only the first 6 hours of meeting!

But before you chastise me with "Wicked Child!", I can easily explain this recent attachment...

"Bob" is an ambulatory blood pressure monitoring device, issued by the hospital to get accurate blood pressure levels throughout a 24 hr period. Usually blood pressures are taken standing in front of the doctor. Studies suggest a form of white coat hypertension manifests itself causing a patient's pressure to increase. This can be due to nervousness and anxiety as a result from being in a clinical setting. As I am in the "high risk" category of patients at risk of cardio problems the clinic needs to have an accurate measure over time of my real time blood pressure. 

Before you could say "hey nonny nonny", I was at the clinic being fitted out with the oddest of contraptions, a portable waist monitor attached to which protrudes a long rubber hose and an  inflatable arm cuff. 

As discreet as a codpiece, it hangs betwixt my legs like an electric sporran, scaring passers by....

I named it "Bob" for we were gonna be close for a while, and I felt he need to personalise this intruder into my intimate space. 

And so began 24 hours of being closely monitored by "Bob"
What would he find out? Would he tell anyone? and worse still would I be able to explain my way out of it?