Isn't it Ironic?

Moaned Alanis Morrisette back in the nineties, before giving us several non ironic situations. A black fly, for example, in your chardonnay, is not ironic, just bad luck, unless of course the wine was German then "Isnt It Teutonic.", .Similarly meeting the man of your dreams, and meeting his beautiful wife, is just desperate and a tad presumptious, "Isnt it platonic?"

No my little blogspotters, irony is when you post a blog entry about the perils of the flu, and how you have avoided the ministrations of the health service, only to succomb four days later and be rushed into hospital.

After a couple of days following the mild flu attack of last week, I was settling down for the night when I was struck by an excrutiating pain in my thorax. Now at first I was surprised to find I had a thorax, not being an insect, but then Im not a biologist either. The pain spread all over my upper torso (now that I do know of) and refused to disappear. Instantly I feared that I was experiencing a stroke, which given my sedentary lifestyle would not be surprising.

However after consulting my Readers Digest Guide to Home Medicine, settled on trapped wind as the most likely cause, and drifted off painfully to the land of Nod:

Fast forward to half past two and I bore witness to the unpleasantness that was the contents of my stomach. This went on for several hours, until i exhausted myself and lapsed into sleep.

Feeling especially woozy and light headed, and dry wretching by now, I notified work of my by now obvious non attendance. Glenn made the call to the North Shore Hospital's new renal ward who made urgent arrangements for my rapid admittance to my second home.

I was rushed to the APU (Assessment and Planning Unit) for a spot of assessment and planning. This involved having an xray, an ultrasound scan of the stomach area, and several physicians popping in to have a quick poke and a prod. And then my renal team swept in majestically, like Hippocratic Stormtroopers dispatched to fix a disturbance in the MedForce.

Their view was I had a viral infection of the liver (yes, I was surprised at that one too), and at it was suffering an "insult" and had become "deranged" as a consequence.

So off I went to the Renal Ward once more, where I am currently being infused with potassium.

Now isn't that hepatic.

 

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